Becoming a new mother is a period of time filled with lots of mixed emotions, and significant changes to your body.

As a GP and mother, I know from first-hand experience how essential it is to receive expert care and support in these crucial weeks and months, but I also know how some new mothers can find it difficult to talk about issues with their GP.

Did you know, that approximately 6 in 100 first-time mums will sustain a deep tear involving the anal sphincter muscle during labour?  This is also known as a third- or fourth-degree tear.  Recovery can vary from these types of tears; and although many women heal with no further problems, others can sadly experience ongoing embarrassing issues such as urinary or bowel incontinence.

In fact, a study carried out by the National Childbirth Trust (NCT) revealed that a third of women suffer incontinence after childbirth; however, around 38% of these women feel too embarrassed to talk about it.

So, it’s not surprising that women find it difficult to talk, especially when social stigmas are attached to these issues. Added to this, not all GP’s will ask the right questions; which in turn can act as a prompt for women to open up about what’s really worrying them.

However, it’s important to understand that GP’s want to help you at all stages of motherhood.  The following tips will help you find it easier to speak with your GP:

• Firstly remember, that everything discussed between you and your GP is in complete confidence. Nothing leaves the consultation room and should we feel the need to make a referral; we will always ask for your permission.
• You are not alone. GPs will see other women who are facing the same problems as you, so feel reassured that we will have talked to lots of other women about similar issues or concerns.

• Booking a double appointment can help give enough time within the consultation. You can request this when booking the appointment with the reception team.
• If something is bothering you, try not to leave this to your 6 to 8-week check. Booking a separate appointment can allow time to focus on these issues.
• Try to book an appointment with a GP you feel comfortable with.
• If you are feeling nervous, let your GP know, they will try to put you at ease.
• Some GP practices now offer online enquiries which may help if you don’t feel comfortable talking about a specific problem.

• Don’t worry if you don’t know medical terms – you don’t need a medical dictionary to speak with your GP. Just be as direct as possible and tell your doctor exactly what is bothering you as best you can.  If you don’t think we’ve understood you, please tell us – we are here to help you.
• Try to attend your GP appointment alone if you can. This can give you the space and concentration to talk about what is worrying you without interruption or distraction.
• Keeping a diary of symptoms or how you are feeling can be really helpful and capture as much information as possible. You can take this diary with you to your consultation which can help with understanding timelines or frequencies.

• Taking a list of questions with you to your consultation can act as a really good prompt. It can also help with any embarrassing questions you may have, as reading from a piece of paper can feel less daunting.
• Finally, remember as GPs we see a really wide range of healthcare problems and conditions.  This means that nothing tends to phase us.  Our passion is helping you, so know that when you book an appointment, we are keen to help you as much as we can.

Finally, I started this article talking about third or fourth-degree tears, so here are a few helpful tips if you have experienced these yourself:

1. Any woman experiencing a third or fourth-degree tear should be referred to a perineal clinic, (this is a clinic that specialises in these types of tears), or a specialist physiotherapy clinic.  If you have not been referred, speak with your GP who can make arrangements for you.
2. A women’s health physiotherapist can be incredibly helpful and your GP can make a referral for you if you are struggling with bladder or bowel problems.
3. Urinary or bowel incontinence can affect your mood.  If you feel as if you are struggling, do talk to your GP.
4. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, and if things don’t seem to be improving, don’t suffer in silence.  Speak to your GP and ask for further support and help.

Interested in learning more about the author?  Read more articles from Dr Eloise Elphinstone:

• Top 9 Tips for New Parents During the 4th Trimester